Monday, February 28, 2011

A crazy couple days!

A lot has happened since I last posted. On February 16th Preston was released home from the NICU! We were so exited and so ready to have him home.
From 2011-02-16

From 2011-02-16

Landon
From 2011-02-16

Preston
From 2011-02-16

The same day that Preston came home Joel had to also dash off to Northwest Medical Center to go visit his dad who was admitted the day before. Tim, Joel's dad was pretty sick and when he was at a doctor's appt. the doctor sent him to the hospital to get checked out. When he got to the hospital he was breathing really deeply so they inti bated him to help aid him and his energy. Shortly after Joel got to the hospital after dropping Preston off, he called me in a panic and said his dad went into a cardiac arrest, but that they were able to stabilize him and he was really scared. I asked Joel if he wanted me to go down there and he said yes if I can. I immediately called my sister Kathryn to see if she could come watch the babies and Jaden and within minutes she was at my door. I dashed off to the hospital and within minutes I was there. Everything seemed to be fine and Tim was stabilized. The nurses wanted to start dialysis so they had us leave the room. We decided to go get some dinner and when we came back they said they were still in the middle of a procedure. We waited quite awhile and then finally the manager of the hospital came in to see us to give us an update. She took us into a small room and said that while we were gone when they started to do the dialysis, Tim went into cardiac arrest and that they have been trying to revive him for 45 minutes and wanted to know at what point they wanted the family to have them stop. It was an hour and a half when they finally were able to stabilize Tim but that because of the CPR it had weakened his heart. They explained that really the machines are what's keeping Tim alive and that he would have no quality of life if we kept him alive on the machines. The family after much thought decided to not have them do CPR if it came to doing it again. One by one each of them, Joel, Mary, Amy, and then Jonathan and Amber on the phone said their goodbyes. It was so unreal what was happening and so sad I was just so glad and thankful that I could be there for Joel and to say goodbye. After a little while Joel and I decided that I needed to head home so I can relieve Kathryn and Ryne and to pump. That was around 1 am. Tim died that night at 1:53 am. I was just so glad Joel got to say goodbye to his dad. It was hard to think that he was now gone. It was so quick and unexpected.

The whole next week would be a blur. My sisters and mom came to my rescue to come help me out with the babies and little did they know with Joel's family in their grieving process. They were a life savor through this whole thing. Joel has really taken his fathers death extremely hard. Tim was apart of Joel's everyday life. They talked every day and went to him for guidance and a lot of times approval.

The funeral went very well and I was even able to help contribute to the event. I made a photo show to music for when people were arriving and while others were at the viewing. I think it turned out well and Joel's family seemed to really like it. They all want a copy of it and I've also made a MyPublisher book of all the same pictures that they all want as well.

From 2011-02-23


During our crazy week, we also found out that Preston would need surgery to fix a hernia. Evidently those are common in preemie babies. We had Landon also checked out and he seemed to be fine. The surgery was scheduled for Friday and we were a little scared even though it's a fairly routine surgery. It would be an overnight stay because sometimes the babies can stop breathing from the anesthesia.
From 2011-02-25

From 2011-02-25

From 2011-02-25

From 2011-02-25


All the while I've been home taking care of our two twin boys and Jaden. I'm so thankful for my family and all the help they've given me. My sisters and mom were also able to even pull off a fun baby shower for me.
From 2011-02-19
From 2011-02-19

From 2011-02-19

From 2011-02-19

From 2011-02-19

We got 12 packages/boxes of diapers and a bunch of clothes. I think it turned out so cute and am so thankful they would take the time out for me to do that.
Well, the day of Preston's surgery came and all went very well. My poor mom was with us the whole week helping me out with the babies especially in the night. I am just so appreciative for her help and support. I don't' think she or my family whole ever know how truly grateful I am for their love and support during this time. They have been absolutely amazing and have come to help me without even a thought. I'm sure all of them, especially my mom are just so exhausted. Thank you family for all your help. We love and appreciate you!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

February 13th

Today was a fun day. I spent most of the day just taking care of Landon, Jaden and trying to keep everyone quiet so Joel can sleep. Joel now works the night shift at the hospital so he has to sleep during the day. It's so hard keeping Jaden quiet and out of our room. In the evening Kathryn, Sterling, and Sarah came over and we decorated cupcakes.
From 2011-02-13

We've kind of made it a tradition now.
From 2011-02-13

It was really fun and nice to have them over.
From 2011-02-13

Landon stayed asleep the whole time. I think they turned out great!
From 2011-02-13

Jaden made these ones. I think he did pretty good for being only 4!
From 2011-02-13

From 2011-02-13

From 2011-02-13

From 2011-02-13

After Joel left for work, Jaden and I spent a fun evening at home with Landon watching movies and having some cup cakes. He tuckered out early!!
From 2011-02-13

Sunday, February 13, 2011

February 12th

We survived our first night with Landon home. I was up in the night quite a bit but that was to be expected. I found that I would pump, then change and feed Landon, go clean the pumping supplies and the bottles and then find that I was starting it all over again and getting no sleep. Finally at 6:30 am I woke Joel up from his dead sleep and asked if he'd feed Landon while I pumped and that allowed me to go to sleep for a little while before I had to do it all over again. It wasn't to bad. I'm just afraid of what will happen when we add Preston. That's going to be crazy. At least I don't have anything else going on. It will be nice when Preston is home from the hospital and I don't have to run down there each day. It just takes so much out of me and is exhausting. Not to mention trying to find someone to watch Jaden.
I did go see Preston and now that he's on a as needed basis I waited quite awhile before I got to change, hold and feed him. He looked so lonely there all by himself.
From 2011-02-12

I just spent that down time writing in their baby book about the last few weeks and Landon coming home.
When I did get Preston up, like always he was very alert and happy.
From 2011-02-12

He's eating very well and has been keeping all his other mile stiones in check exept one. He did what was called a Brady, which is where his hearat rate goes down to a low level and they look to see if the baby brings themselves out of it or if they need intervention from the nurses. He did that the morning before and was able to pull himself out of it with no help, but they want to see him not do that for at least 3 days before they even consider letting them come home. From yesterday when I went he hadn't done it for 24 hours so that was good. It will be a few more days at least for Preston. We're hoping that maybe by the end of the week he can maybe come home.
From 2011-02-12

At home though, Landon is doing great. He's eating well, sleeping most the day and really it doesn't seem to be too much, yet!!
From 2011-02-12

From 2011-02-12

Jaden's just been so cute with Landon though. He's really taken his job as a big brother very seriously. He says it's his job to take out the diapers and when Joel tried taking one out he even got mad and was like, "that's my job". He was holding Landon and was telling Landon that he's here to protect him from the bad guys. It was so cute to see him already be so protective. He loves his little brothers.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Landon's Home!!!

Landon was discharged from the hospital shortly after 3:00 pm and was ready to come home. The nurses were so nice and loaded us up with all the diapers, creams, handy wipes, vitamins, and bottles they had in stock. They strapped him into his car seat and we were on our way home. For the first time ever driving to or from the hospital it seemed like the roadways were clear and with not as many cars. Which was good because i was so nervous driving him home.
From 2011-02-11

From 2011-02-11

It was kind of neat because the same nurse that admitted Landon, discharged him too. Here she is...
From 2011-01-19

Both boys have had such great nurses and are so impressed with our little boys at how well they have done and how quickly they progressed.
When I got home I wanted to have some video so I called Kathryn out, who was watching Jaden for me, Thanks Kathryn, and she was able to capture on video for me Landon coming out of the car and into the house. She was able to capture Jaden's reaction and how little Landon is. Look at him in his car seat. That's a normal car seat and it looks like he's being swallowed up by the seat belt.
From 2011-02-11

Jaden was so exited to see his little brother. Joel and I gave him a special T-shirt to wear for the day that says, "Big Brother to Twins" he loved it and has taken his job as a big brother very seriously. He even got mad at Joel for almost taking a diaper out to the garbage, that's his job.
From 2011-02-11

Jaden wanted to take a picture of me with Landon. I think he did a pretty good job!
From 2011-02-11

From 2011-02-11

Then, Jaden was finally able to hold his brother for the first time since he was born over 3 and a half weeks ago.
From 2011-02-11

From 2011-02-11

From 2011-02-11

Then it was off to sleep for Landon. He slept for almost 4 hours before he woke up to eat. He's a very good baby. He sleeps a lot and is so good.
From 2011-02-11

It's been nice to finally have him home and we can't wait for Preston to come home too. it's actually good that they are coming home one by one so that I can adjust to having babies around. They are a lot of work and I need to get the hang of things before another one joins in on the fun.
Welcome Home Landon!!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Landon's coming home!!!

So today I decided I'm going to have a lazy day. I'll sleep all day, rest, relax, maybe watch a movie, just hang out with Jaden. So at 10:00 am I woke up to Joel with breakfast in bed. Which was so nice. He was getting ready to go to bed then from working the night shift before. Well around 10:30 I got a phone call from the nurse practitioner at TMC. She said that Landon would be ready to go home tomorrow and that they needed me to come in and bring the car seat and sign some papers for his shots. i was so exited, but there was so much that still needed to be done. So, scratch the relax day, I had to kick it into high gear and get my house in order for the new baby to come. I headed to the hospital to feed the boys, and do the things they needed me to do. Meanwhile Jaden went to Tim's house, his grandpa and I dropped Chloe off to be cleaned and groomed at Petsmart. I knew I was going to have a long night ahead of me so I decided to just pick up some Taco Bell on the way home while I pumped in the car on the way home from the hospital. We quickly ate and it was off to clean the house. I felt so overwhelmed I called my sister Kathryn in desperation hoping she would come. In minutes she was here and we worked quickly to get the whole house cleaned from top to bottom. I was sure surprised at how fast we did it. It feels so good now and livable. From there I dashed to the store to get the last few things I think we will need for the baby like, burp clothes, you can never have enough of those, a changing pad and cover, hangers, baby shampoo and lotion and a few other things. I now feel ready to have Landon come home. It was a short notice and I'm so glad my mom came over the other day and helped me set up and organize the nursery. What a hug help and relief that was. It was really stressing me and goggling me down. I would walk in there and get so overwhelmed and not know what to do, I would just walk right back out. I'm so glad she helped me with that. We even came up with a theme and decorating ideas. She's so good at that. Thanks mom and Kathryn. You really helped to save me this time!! Love ya!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

February 9th

The twins are at 35 weeks distation and it's only been 3 weeks since their birth. It seems so much longer then that. I was taking a much needed, extremely hot shower thinking back on everything that's happened and I realized that i've been just going along in an auto pilot mode. Feeling was starating to come back to me and the emotions came pouring out. I've reolized that I've been pushing my body in ways that I definetly shouldn't. Anyone that knows me well, knows I have a hard time relaxing. I somehow feel that I'm waisting time or being lazy if I lay down and rest. So thinking back on the last 3 weeks after having my twins I have literaly taken just 1 nap. I pump every 2 to 3 hours all day and inbetween that I go to the hospital which is 45 minutes away to try to spend time with the babies and all the while trying to juggle where Jaden's going to go while I go do that. I have little help from Joel for he is in school doing a very hard semester, which he thought was going to be easy, wrong, and trying to switch to night shifts, so he sleeps during the day and works at night. So, back to me in the shower, I'm realizing all this and I just brake down. Probably for the second time since I've had the twins I had a good cry. I realize now, how extremely bad my feet hurt, how my body just aiches from head to toe and how tired I am. I realize how lonely I feel. Doing most of this by myself and trying to take care of a little boy who desperatly needs my attention. I just feel like a bad mom and that I'm' failing. It doesn't feel like I just had two babies. They aren't here. When we first got home from the hospital Joel asked me how if felt to be a new stay at home mom. and I said, I wouldn't know, I don't have any of my babies here. Jaden was at my parents house for the week and I had no babies with me to take care of. It was a weird feeling. I guess I just feel like I needed to get that all out. To start feeling again and get out of this zombie, auto pilot mode and back into the feeling and listening to my body. I wish I had a personal maid that could help me but that's not possible. I've exhausted all my resources especially my family and ward these last 9 weeks from me being in the hospital and up to now. I can't ask any more of them and they have helped us so much beyond anything I could have imagined. I just need to rest and gear up for when these little guys come home. Hopefully Jaden will understand and the house will just have to wait till I get the energy to do anything with it.

February 8th

Landon is now on a as needed basis feeding schedule so he gets fed now not on a 3 hour schedule but when he wakes up and wants it. He had fed about a half hour before I got there so I didn't get to hold my little Landon, but that takes us a little closer to when he gets to come home.
From 2011-02-08

Preston has been doing well, but is a little behind then Landon. He's not taking his feedings as well and has to be gabaged every now and then and that's not good because it's showing he's not taking his feedings by bottle yet. They have laid him flat though and that's good.
From 2011-02-08

I talked to the Doctor and he said he would be surprised if Landon were here this time next week. So, by Tuesday next week, we could have our baby home. Preston might take a few more days.
From 2011-02-08

The nurse told me to go ahead and bring in a car seat so they can start doing a car seat test. They have to be able to sit in their car seat the whole length of the way home and a little more, so he'll have to do that for 1 hour a day.
From 2011-02-08

It's becomeing so real now. As I was leaving the nurse was getting their co-bed crib ready for them to be together again. I'm so exited. It's funny because they swoop their hand on that side to see if the other one is there. It's cute.

February 7th

The babies are getting so big! They Just reached over 4 pounds. They are still seperated in their own cribs but are going to be moved intogether soon.
From 2011-02-07

Landon all ready to feed. He's my sleepy guy.
From 2011-02-07

I had to go to the hospital alone today because Joel has started working nights at the hospital so I had to hold the babies together to give them equal time. It was fun trying to juggle the both of them together. It's hard.
From 2011-02-07

Preston's one on one time with mommy
From 2011-02-07

He was extra sleepy today too.
From 2011-02-07

Monday, February 7, 2011

February 6th!

Today was a fun day because being sunday and superbowl sunday on top of that, the hospital was dead. Noone was there and so we had a lot of privacy with our boys. they were still seperated only because of the situation that they have going on with the flooding, they don't have a combined crib ready to go due to the chaos. Anyway, we had a little fun with the camera trying to show the two boys together.
From 2011-02-06

They are within onces of each other so they look a lot alike.
From 2011-02-06

Both boys have reached over 4 pounds. Yay!!
From 2011-02-06

Landon:
From 2011-02-06

From 2011-02-06

Preston:
From 2011-02-06

One of Joel's classmates and friend gave Jaden a card with this fun sticker inside. He immideatley wanted to put it on.
From 2011-02-06

We went home and had some yummy roast with potatoes and gravy and jello. So fun to be together again.
From 2011-02-06

From 2011-02-06